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I wanted a glimpse of the life I could have — someone who looked like me and could understand my struggle.
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When IDAHO came, the event lasted less than five minutes before students were escorted away by campus security. I watched the flood of messages in our WeChat group as people scurried to come up with a Plan B. Yet no one felt the shut-down of Plan A was out of the ordinary. In fact, it was expected. The second happened only a week or so before Flaggate when, in the seemingly progressive Art Zone, a female volunteer was beaten to the ground by an on-duty security officer for handing out rainbow pins.
On the other hand, I was crestfallen to hear the stories of men and women living struggling to be true to their identity while mitigating the risks of social ostracization.
Take my friend Guoqiang. As Guoqiang and I sat on the plaza outside the gates of Tsinghua University one balmy fall night, drinking Coronas we had bought at the nearby 7-Eleven, Guoqiang told me that he was thinking of getting married to a girl. I asked him if he was out to his parents. He asked me if I know any lesbians that might want to marry him. Mainly, xinghun provides eager mothers and fathers the grandchildren they so desperately want.
I happened to be single and dating in Beijing, which gave me the opportunity to really delve into the heart of gay life in China. But also proved to be a bit of a wild ride in terms of the language barrier, cultural differences, and especially expectations.
At home in the US, I think, people generally follow their hearts when they date. Do I like the other person? How does he make me feel? Of course, everyone has their own list of desired attributes to check off: age, height, weight, employment, background, etc. Either you are friends or you are on the precipice of getting married. Two apps, Blued and Grindr, were my portals into this world.
Perhaps, since gay men in China have been so marginalized, these online spaces offer safe havens. Even after we had chatted for a while, some never wanted to de-mask themselves.
It was frustrating. One can only have so many semi-romantic conversations with Peppa Pig. I was lucky to meet some wonderful guys and swap stories of our upbringings over steamed dumplings and fried green beans. There were also some bright spots in terms of gay activism and grassroots organizing, propelled by the vibrant ex-pat scene in Beijing.
The details might not be revealed until the day of. While local Chinese did participate, a greater number of the core organizers and volunteers were foreigners.
To be gay in China is both exciting and nerve-racking. It is to exist as a perpetual other, engaged in a fight for liberty that feels both futile and empowering. I remember going to the Pride parade in Taipei, Taiwan, one of the first East Asian countries to enact marriage equality, and being touched by the show of support, comradery, and advocacy by the LGBTQ community, many of who had flown from Singapore, Hong Kong or Indonesia to wave their rainbow flags.
As China grows, economically and culturally, I can envision a day in the future where gay men and women are accepted for who they are and in what they believe. But for now, things continue to exist, online or underground. Skip to content. June 27, January 25, Julien. Pride in the hutong. Dining for Diversity supports the non-profit Beijing Gender. In addition, he manages a US-China brand consultancy, helping global firms expand into both countries.
He also blogs at StylebyJulien.
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Chinese App Helps Gay Men Navigate Surrogacy in the U.S. - Gays With Kids
I wanted a glimpse of the life I could have — someone who looked like me and could understand my struggle. It was what gay society told me was the pinnacle of male beauty. For a long time, I thought that coming out would open doors to a place where I could be open about my identity without judgement.
As gay men, we all go through an emotional journey to discover a sense of self; to allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to come out and let our lives fall into place. And while I found acceptance in innumerable ways through friends, coming out also meant entering a world brimming with a distinct, ubiquitous form of discrimination — where racism runs rampant and everyone is boxed into manufactured stereotypes. If anyone does show interest in an Asian man, they may be pursuing a submissive Asian stereotype.
Other gay men want to dominate and discard us. In my 25 years of being out, going to bars and talking to people who found no issue in telling me to my face that they don't date Asians felt like the norm. Little did I know that it was a place of division — a place where Asians competed with each other for the attention of non-Asian men at the club. I wanted to help show an array of modern gay Asian men, an underrepresented group in the media, the way we exist today.
The men in this portfolio come from a diverse set of backgrounds: Chinese, Vietnamese, Thai, Singaporean, Japanese, Filipino, Korean, multiracial. They are not models; they are designers, chefs, drag queens, architects, filmmakers, and teachers.
They are powerful, intelligent, sexual, and provocative. They are nuanced and do not fit into boxes like submissive and dominant — they express desire in ways distinctive to them.
They shatter the idea that Asian male sexuality is taboo. Photographer , who traveled from Beijing to collaborate on this project, captures bold, masculine, feminine, sexy, gorgeous men who represent the strength of Asian men, but are only a fraction of our huge population in the gay community.
This portfolio was also made with the help of an entirely Asian crew: photographer, stylist, hair stylist, makeup, videographer. All of the clothing you see was created by a designer of Asian descent.
Get the best of what's queer. Sign up for our weekly newsletter here. Claire Dodson. By Michelle Kim. By Lucy Diavolo. By Mary Emily O'Hara.